A few minutes later, the man said for a third time: “Give me a beer before the arguments start.”Thoroughly confused, the bartender said: “Excuse...me, when are you going to pay for all these beers?”The man said: “Now the arguments start.”A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the. He had a healthy beer gut and this was the first time she could remember seeing him in a suit. His ever-present baseball cap was missing and she could see the pathetic ring of fuzz that was supposed to pass for hair. She could remember crying through most of the funeral and was only able to stop when David was giving the eulogy. “…It’s important that we remember John Jr. and Deborah for how they lived. John was my best friend and the brother I never had. He stopped some guys from beating me to. He’d start pressing his body against mine. I’d like it.Eventually, we’d find ourselves moving to the corner of the room, where he’d kiss me. He’d start at my lips and run down my neck. I’d then give in to him.We’d run into the men’s room toilets, into one of the stalls, where we begin making out. The feeling of his tongue in my mouth. He’d begin touching my breasts, and running his hand up my legs and my skirt. I’d never felt this before. It’d feel good.I’d get down on my knees, unzip his. "God... Seems like everyone's either gettinghitched or hitched already, heh!" Yeah... Not quite everyone, I thinkto myself."We are lucky to have found our perfect mates so early in life,"Ophelia says, casting me a sympathetic glance as she, like always,seems to sense what I'm thinking."You can say that again," Alexa says softly as she eases back into herfianc?e's embrace. A tired but not awkward silence fills the room as werelax, the 'taken' women in the room obviously thinking about.
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